i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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