We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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