Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
