No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
