have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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