So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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