Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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