Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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