Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
