Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
