I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
