maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
