i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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