She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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