Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
