sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
