we're blogging at a bar
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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