I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
