I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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