so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
