He told me they were just razor bumps!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
