You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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