Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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