so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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