girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
