so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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