it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
