Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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