Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
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