so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
