Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
