I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
