it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize