I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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