The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Randomize
