Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
