Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
