what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My bed smells like the plague
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You left your phone here
Wait...
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