i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
