oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
