Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
