There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
