I just saw a hot homeless man
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
