Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You've changed since you got that strap on
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