That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
