I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
