In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
