he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
