I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He better not be in your backpack
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
