You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
