You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
