He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
