She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
